Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
