i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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