I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
