Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
