After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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