Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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