In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
