Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
