If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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