I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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