I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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