Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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