She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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