I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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