Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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