you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
