I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
birth control should be required to get into college
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
And then he peed in my hair
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