Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
His nipple licking is glorious
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