I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
