Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
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