i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
