Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
