We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
