i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
