I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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