I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
