Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
