I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
