hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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