I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
