I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Congratulations! We have a period
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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