i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
