I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
