Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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