Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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