oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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