My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
