Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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