Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
