My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
