Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
