If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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