it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
