to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
