sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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