Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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