I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
