you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
