So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
