My room smells like vodka and shame
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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